Love Me Or Else!

I’m sure it’s probably just me, but I find that a lot of the ‘relationship goals’ type posts and memes that people share constantly on Facebook are neither cute, sexy or adorable; in fact I find them downright fucking creepy and disturbing. If your ‘bae’ keeps sharing these on your timeline or tagging you in them, my suggestion is: Run! Run for the hills before it’s too late! Also, if your significant other refers to you as ‘bae’, that’s a good reason to dump them too…

That's your girlfriend, that is.


Call me stupid, but…

Right. So our latest brilliant idea to thwart terrorism and keep our country safe from extremists is that parents who are worried about their children being or becoming radicalised can report them and the government will seize or cancel their passports so they can’t fuck off to Syria and get themselves killed.

Now, call me stupid, but do we want to trap the – now even more angry at us – west hating extremist terrorist types in our country?… Read the rest


Is it because I is black?

Statistics are fun, aren’t they? All over the news today is the revelation that black people are three times more likely to have a Taser used against them. As in, they apparently make up around 4% of the UK population, but account for 12% of the incidents where a taser was used and ethnicity was recorded. The lions share in the Metropolitan area, obviously.

However. Here’s some more statistics that are often bandied about when it suits the media, but doesn’t seem to merit mentioning in this particular story (because it wouldn’t be half as sensational then!) : Despite the fact that in London 12% of men are black – almost 3 times the national average – black men account for 54 per cent of the street crimes committed by men in London, and 46 per cent of the knife crimes and more than half of the gun crimes are thought by the Metropolitan Police to have been committed by black men.… Read the rest


VW: Still Cheating and Lying!

“This was not a corporate decision, This was something individuals did.”
“a couple of software engineers who put this in for whatever reason.”

— Michael Horn, head of Volkswagen’s American unit, before a House Energy and Commerce subcommittee hearing

Even if this were the tiniest bit believable, it MUST have been common knowledge that the engines VW built were outputting up to 40 times the legal emissions limits, and that somehow, magically, mystically, they all passed their emissions tests, and no one at VW questioned that?… Read the rest


Oh, Good.

They’ve already started going on about Christmas Meals and Parties and shit at work. Four more months of ‘No, really, I am NOT going. Yes, I know there’s free food and drink. No, it makes fuck all difference. Now respect my wishes and the fact I’m a grumpy cunt and go enjoy it without me, because if you force me to go against my will I’ll fucking make sure none of you enjoy it…’

Fuck I fucking hate fucking Christmas.… Read the rest


Dear Amazon, Here’s why we don’t use you anymore…

Dear Amazon,

I’d really like to see some of your sales stats. Specifically, I’d like to see some comparisons of your sales before and after your recent policy change that saw the minimum order value for free delivery go up to £20.

I’d also like to see some figures on the number of regular purchasers that haven’t ordered since… because I’ve done a completely non scientific pop quiz survey of people I know and the vast majority have basically stopped using you.… Read the rest