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Now That’s What I Call Efficient!

I’m being heavily sarcastic, btw; never in the history of the universe have Yodel been described as efficient. In this case, however, you can’t fault them for speed!.. having checked my parcel tracking, it turns out they attempted to deliver a package to me two days before I even decided to purchase said item, and a day before it was dispatched from the sender. Unfortunately, not knowing they now deliver by time machine, I wasn’t around to receive it :/

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There are Alternate Facts, Damned Alternate Facts, and Statistics.

So, I think we can see exactly what kind of president the big racist Dorito coloured man-baby is going to be. The lying, cheating, bullying asshole kind. Surprise, surprise, eh? Who would have seen that coming?

As always, he had a bunch of lackeys backing up his lying, cheating and bullying, as if three or four official sounding titled people spewing bullshit through official sounding channels would somehow make it more factual, in the face of overwhelming evidence – including photographs and videos seen by half the fucking planet – to the contrary. [...]  read more

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It’s The End Of The World As We Know It.

So, yeah. Today is Trumpageddon. The Trumpocalypse. Genuinely, the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. The day that odious little manbaby grabs America by the pussy and gives it the fucking good fisting that it probably deserves, in all honesty.

Oh Please. You were fucking begging for it.

I’m not even American, and I feel sick to my stomach today that today could actually come to pass. I won’t be watching any of the events around today despite the fact that it’s 24 hour wall to wall coverage on every news channel. I actually would vomit.
 [...]  read more

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The Most Apt Company Name Ever

It amused me no end to learn that Microsoft had acquired the 3D data optimisation company Simplygon. Based upon Microsoft’s long and painful history of tech acquisitions, that’s exactly where they’ll be this time next year (month?). Simply Gone. Bless the naivety of their CEO, Matt Connors; “We’re thrilled to join forces with Microsoft to make this happen”. Oh dear. You don’t know Microsoft very well, do you? I’m afraid you’re in for a bit of a fall, Mr Connors.  [...]  read more

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Britain Betrayed By Bullshitting Bitch

I suppose that our most punchable Prime Minister is at least exercising unprecedented levels of fairness; she’s sold out everyone in the country, whether they were remainers or leavers.

Our Most Punchable Traitorous Dictator, MayBot

It’s definitively a ‘hard’ Brexit now – before any real negotiations with the EU have even started – based upon her apparently serving the will of the British people who apparently voted to leave the single market. Funny, I don’t remember that being a question we were ever asked. Funny how it also flies in the face of numerous polls that say that 90% of voters want to stay in the single market. The single market that was, after all, a UK invention and hard won victory brokered under Thatcher’s watch. The single market that has allowed Britain to become one of the worlds strongest economies. The single market that has allowed people to travel and study and do business across Europe. [...]  read more

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Will Assange be Manning Up?

Ok, Mr Assange. The POTUS has done his part. Now it’s your turn. Or are you going to turn out to be the lying, hypocritical, manipulative piece of shit I always thought you were? Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll get a fair trial at the hands of Donald Trumps Administration. Why wouldn’t you? He’s your bestest bud now! A lot of water has passed under that bridge since Trump recommended you receive the death penalty…

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Zucchini Be Serious?!

As if things weren’t bad enough in the UK, now THIS! I don’t even know if I can go on at this point.

The headline pun is a bit of a fail, given that courgettes are not in any way related to pickles, though it did amuse me that they have a news section specifically dedicated to vegetables. Amazingly, it’s not even the only article on the ‘crisis’ (they actually called it that).

Even more amazing, they invite you to contribute by posting pictures of courgettes… [...]  read more

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Shock As Media Outlet Tells The Truth!

The Sunday Herald’s TV Guide sums things up absolutely perfectly:

President Trump: The Inauguration

“After a long absence, The Twilight Zone returns with one of the most ambitious, expensive and controversial productions in broadcast history. Sci-fi writers have dabbled often with alternative history stories – among the most common is the “What If The Nazis Had Won The Second World War” setting – but this huge interactive virtual reality project, which will unfold on TV, in the press, and on Twitter over the next four years, sets out to build an ongoing alternative present. [...]  read more

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