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Darrk Dysmal

Facebook Fills Empty Little Lives for Saddo Brits

Research (likely a fucking survey, and we know how useful and reliable those are…) by Ofcom (the independent regulator that don’t do shit when you complain about getting ripped off by BT or Sky etc) out today, and immediately jumped on by the media, says that the average Brit spends nearly half of their waking hours ‘using some sort of technology’.

It says that 13.5 million brits spend a good proportion of that time  ‘surfing the net’ on their smartphone (no they fucking don’t. Sitting on Facebook playing fucking farmville or whatever it’s called for 5 hours a day does not constitute ‘surfing the net’.) [...]  read more

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Happy Paraskevidekatriaphobia Day!

Although, I guess if you’re a paraskevidekatriaphobic, you probably WON’T be happy today.

/me waves to 21 million irrational Americans

(I’m not picking on Americans specifically, but I couldn’t get figures for other countries (presumably a US study. Hence forgetting the rest of the world exists. Oh wait. I *am* picking on Americans specifically after all.)

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Our survey says: surveys are shit

Have you noticed that not a day goes by without some newspaper or tv station makes a big story out of the results of some ridiculous survey or other similarly meaningless data? Today, for example, the Independent is dutifully informing us that iPhone users have more sex than Android users, based upon a small segment of this oh-so-scientific survey from some crappy dating site.

How can you argue with that? They have a graph entitled ‘Sexual Activity By Smart Phone Brand’, and it goes on to qualify their results further; “The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I’ll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it’s not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another.”. To reinforce the issue, they have a further graph ‘Sexual Partners By Smart Phone, by Age’. Again, the iPhone owners are clearly on top. [...]  read more

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Twisted Twins

Anyone see the BBC documentary Madness in the Fast Lane (iPlayer link for those that can view it) last night? Un-fucking-believable.

I’d have gladly wheelspinned an 18 wheeler truck on their sick fucking heads on day 1, and saved at least one man his life and a fair few others from mental scars they’ll probably have for ever.

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I’ll give you something to fear, moron…

Here’s another fine example of the sort of people that make me want to insert pointy things into their eyes…

People who say ‘if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear’, when applied to anything-to-do-with-privacy. Shit like police stop-and-search powers, or the ever increasing and ever invasive use of CCTV cameras in our streets, about data mining practices, about the ID card debates, or even on retaining the DNA of completely innocent people on a central database. [...]  read more

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As a thought, I need to make an addition to the previously listed smug fuckers. To recap, I was hating on (I mean, more specifically than ‘everyone’):

  • people who are ‘happy with life’.
  • people who think they are qualified to advise you on how to improve your life and/or admonish you for not cherishing your every moment on earth.
  • people who are stinking rich in general (which is a viewpoint that will naturally do a swift U-turn should I suddenly win the lottery or something).
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    So what the fuck is this all about? Well, since you’re here, let me tell you.

    The list of things that piss me off is a long one. To be honest, pretty much everything pisses me off and it has to be said that there really isn’t much about life that I enjoy. Life seems, for the most part, like an utterly pointless endeavour.

    So while I’m waiting to die, I may as well join the rest of the world (metaphorically (or is that literally?),  not actually – I hate the world and pretty much everyone in it, naturally) and spew my every conscious thought onto a blog. I don’t expect or even want you to read it. But it gives me something to do until (fingers crossed) a bus runs me over or something. Or hey, if I finally go off the rails and do something apparently incomprehensible that gives the media something new to write about for 10 minutes, they’ll be able to minutely psychoanalyse me through my rantings here. [...]  read more

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