Oh good. Twitter has struck a deal to spew it’s crap all over the web, which it says will “open a significant opportunity” to extend the reach of its “message” to a larger audience. Most annoyingly, they’re going to start showing up in Google search results.

Yeah. See, here’s the thing. If we wanted to read the bollocks that gets vomitted onto Twitter by their core customer base of over-eager commentards with no self awareness or ability to exercise self censorship, then we would, yaknow, join Twitter and read them there. I can assure you that the thing I’m searching for on Google will never, ever, ever be found in a tweet from anyone ever. Seriously. If it ever happens, I’ll eat my own testicles.

In other Twitter related news, the CEO was quoted as saying “We suck at dealing with abuse and trolls on the platform, and we’ve sucked at it for years”, and went on to say that from now on “We’re going to start kicking these people off right and left and making sure that when they issue their ridiculous attacks, nobody hears them,” he said.”

I suspect what he ACTUALLY means, and is showing his complete ignorance by calling them merely ‘trolls’, is that he’s going to start tackling the sort of pond life scum that threaten other Twits with rape or murder for daring to have a differing opinion. Hopefully.

Or maybe that’s too difficult, and he does literally mean he’s going to ignore the harassment and intimidation and instead go after people like me that simply enjoy winding up easily offended self-righteous commentards. Who knows?

All I know is, that however much I might offend people on the interwebz, I’ve never threatened to rape a journalist because of her views on the portrayal of female characters in video games. Those kind of people (and I use the term people loosely here) aren’t ‘trolls’. They’re psychopaths and criminals.

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