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How to climb out of a really bad mood: apparently 2000ft should do it

Today was ‘one of those days’ before 9am. I’d experienced pretty much the entire spectrum of the types of fucktards that make me hate humans before I even got to work – seriously, if someone had handed me a shotgun and some shells this morning, I’d have made international news by lunchtime for removing the faces of those that annoyed me with lead shot (something I enjoy fantasising about often… and alluded to in my first ever post here, although the method of dispatching said tards varies with my mood. Sometimes its a quick, concise death, while others I want to torture slowly.). [...]  read more

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You can thank me later, world

Today I bring you news of awesomeness of my own invention. It will, I predict, become ‘the next big thing’ in fashionable culinary circles. It was discovered almost by accident on Saturday when I bought Haggis on the way home from a fairly heavy drinking session, only to get home and find I had nothing with which to make a hearty gravy to complement it. Staring blankly into my cupboards, I pulled out the only thing I had that I thought had the same sort of savory notes and consistency… and thus was born Haggis with Black Bean Sauce. Which, I can tell you, is fucking fantastic. For information, as well as having had about 8 pints of Warsteiner, I was also pretty stoned. But still, it fucking rocks! Try it! [...]  read more

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