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Bollocks

Licensed To Surf?

You know, I really think you should have to pass a test and get a license to use the internet. So many users are utterly, hopelessly and even dangerously ignorant.

I despair everytime I watch anyone use the ‘net. Especially since they usually start off typing ‘google’ into the Google search bar on their browser to get to the Google home page so they can type in ‘Facebook’…

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Last US Troops Leave Iraq

Yes, it’s a historic day. The last US combat troops have finally fucked off after their invasion of Iraq a mere seven years ago. Although that’s not the end of the US presence in Iraq… just that the war is over (funny, I could have sworn I  recall George Bush telling us the war was over nearly 7 years ago). The US stresses that they still have a trillion dollar investment to protect in Iraq (Americans must be well pleased about that given the state of their economy at home).

So, I guess the US is free to illegally invade some other middle eastern country of their choice, now (read: Iran), closely followed by their lapdog, the UK. [...]  read more

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Facebook Fills Empty Little Lives for Saddo Brits

Research (likely a fucking survey, and we know how useful and reliable those are…) by Ofcom (the independent regulator that don’t do shit when you complain about getting ripped off by BT or Sky etc) out today, and immediately jumped on by the media, says that the average Brit spends nearly half of their waking hours ‘using some sort of technology’.

It says that 13.5 million brits spend a good proportion of that time  ‘surfing the net’ on their smartphone (no they fucking don’t. Sitting on Facebook playing fucking farmville or whatever it’s called for 5 hours a day does not constitute ‘surfing the net’.) [...]  read more

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Happy Paraskevidekatriaphobia Day!

Although, I guess if you’re a paraskevidekatriaphobic, you probably WON’T be happy today.

/me waves to 21 million irrational Americans

(I’m not picking on Americans specifically, but I couldn’t get figures for other countries (presumably a US study. Hence forgetting the rest of the world exists. Oh wait. I *am* picking on Americans specifically after all.)

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Our survey says: surveys are shit

Have you noticed that not a day goes by without some newspaper or tv station makes a big story out of the results of some ridiculous survey or other similarly meaningless data? Today, for example, the Independent is dutifully informing us that iPhone users have more sex than Android users, based upon a small segment of this oh-so-scientific survey from some crappy dating site.

How can you argue with that? They have a graph entitled ‘Sexual Activity By Smart Phone Brand’, and it goes on to qualify their results further; “The chart pretty much speaks for itself; I’ll just say that the numbers for all three brands are for 30 year-olds, so it’s not a matter of older, more experienced people preferring one phone to another.”. To reinforce the issue, they have a further graph ‘Sexual Partners By Smart Phone, by Age’. Again, the iPhone owners are clearly on top. [...]  read more

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I’ll give you something to fear, moron…

Here’s another fine example of the sort of people that make me want to insert pointy things into their eyes…

People who say ‘if you have nothing to hide then you have nothing to fear’, when applied to anything-to-do-with-privacy. Shit like police stop-and-search powers, or the ever increasing and ever invasive use of CCTV cameras in our streets, about data mining practices, about the ID card debates, or even on retaining the DNA of completely innocent people on a central database. [...]  read more

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Addendum

As a thought, I need to make an addition to the previously listed smug fuckers. To recap, I was hating on (I mean, more specifically than ‘everyone’):

  • people who are ‘happy with life’.
  • people who think they are qualified to advise you on how to improve your life and/or admonish you for not cherishing your every moment on earth.
  • people who are stinking rich in general (which is a viewpoint that will naturally do a swift U-turn should I suddenly win the lottery or something).
  •  [...]  read more

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    Huh?

    So what the fuck is this all about? Well, since you’re here, let me tell you.

    The list of things that piss me off is a long one. To be honest, pretty much everything pisses me off and it has to be said that there really isn’t much about life that I enjoy. Life seems, for the most part, like an utterly pointless endeavour.

    So while I’m waiting to die, I may as well join the rest of the world (metaphorically (or is that literally?),  not actually – I hate the world and pretty much everyone in it, naturally) and spew my every conscious thought onto a blog. I don’t expect or even want you to read it. But it gives me something to do until (fingers crossed) a bus runs me over or something. Or hey, if I finally go off the rails and do something apparently incomprehensible that gives the media something new to write about for 10 minutes, they’ll be able to minutely psychoanalyse me through my rantings here. [...]  read more

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