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Bollocks

You’ll Never Guess When News Stopped Being A Thing! Click Here To Find Out!

I’m so fucking sick of what passes for ‘News’ these days. Once upon a time, reporters used to, you know, gather facts and report on events.

Now they sit on their lazy fucking asses embedding indignant commentary in the form of tweets from random keyboard warriors.

Even in the mainstream media, it’s all clickbait – or just plain bullshit – headlines, followed by some poorly, lazily written shit that is full of spelling and grammar errors.

It’s not news any more, it’s fucking social media commentary of the fucking news from people who seem determined to display their breathtaking ignorance. [...]  read more

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Theresa May Fuck Right Off.

So today goes down in history as the point of no return for Brexit.
Most probably in some future history it’ll pinpoint the day we chose to fuck our entire economy and become a permanently poorer and more isolated country.

What it won’t go down as, despite Theresa May’s pleas, is ‘a time to come together’. Fuck that, and fuck you, bitch. NO ONE voted for you.

For a start, every fucking Brexiteer you mention it to is far from prepared to ‘come together’. Their go to retort – rather than actually engage in any discussion – is still the same as it was at the time of the referendum; ‘you lost. get over it!’.  [...]  read more

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Park Resorts: The War On Nature

The shady avenue of beautiful ancient towering trees that I walked under every day for years until this week looks like this today:

Park Resorts: The War on Trees

Courtesy of Park Resorts. I mean, I know that Park Resorts fucking hate trees; fucking big, fat, useless space wasting bastards, taking up valuable real-estate they could be using to further their profits. Like the equally ancient and equally beautiful grove of wild cherry and elm they ripped up while expanding their site to add more ‘luxury lodges’ last year. I’ve watched them hack down centuries old trees for years. [...]  read more

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Trumpers Have The Best Hypocrisy, Bigly!

So, somewhat predictably, the adoring, unquestioning (read: wilfully ignorant) Trumpists are a bit sad (sorry. Sad! With a capital and an exclamation mark) about all the protesting against their thin skinned narcissistic Crybaby-in-Chief, and the ridiculing and haranguing of the small handed small minded predatory POTUS (Piece Of Turd Under Shoe).

“You damn liberal babies! he won, get over it! He’s your president whether you like it or not! There’s nothing you can do by whining about it!” [...]  read more

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Now That’s What I Call Efficient!

I’m being heavily sarcastic, btw; never in the history of the universe have Yodel been described as efficient. In this case, however, you can’t fault them for speed!.. having checked my parcel tracking, it turns out they attempted to deliver a package to me two days before I even decided to purchase said item, and a day before it was dispatched from the sender. Unfortunately, not knowing they now deliver by time machine, I wasn’t around to receive it :/

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There are Alternate Facts, Damned Alternate Facts, and Statistics.

So, I think we can see exactly what kind of president the big racist Dorito coloured man-baby is going to be. The lying, cheating, bullying asshole kind. Surprise, surprise, eh? Who would have seen that coming?

As always, he had a bunch of lackeys backing up his lying, cheating and bullying, as if three or four official sounding titled people spewing bullshit through official sounding channels would somehow make it more factual, in the face of overwhelming evidence – including photographs and videos seen by half the fucking planet – to the contrary. [...]  read more

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It’s The End Of The World As We Know It.

So, yeah. Today is Trumpageddon. The Trumpocalypse. Genuinely, the beginning of the end of the world as we know it. The day that odious little manbaby grabs America by the pussy and gives it the fucking good fisting that it probably deserves, in all honesty.

Oh Please. You were fucking begging for it.

I’m not even American, and I feel sick to my stomach today that today could actually come to pass. I won’t be watching any of the events around today despite the fact that it’s 24 hour wall to wall coverage on every news channel. I actually would vomit.
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The Most Apt Company Name Ever

It amused me no end to learn that Microsoft had acquired the 3D data optimisation company Simplygon. Based upon Microsoft’s long and painful history of tech acquisitions, that’s exactly where they’ll be this time next year (month?). Simply Gone. Bless the naivety of their CEO, Matt Connors; “We’re thrilled to join forces with Microsoft to make this happen”. Oh dear. You don’t know Microsoft very well, do you? I’m afraid you’re in for a bit of a fall, Mr Connors.  [...]  read more

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